Dad, Words dont even begin to describe the thoughts in my head. Scared, confused, angry, depressed, sad... They all mean nothing. I don't and now I won't ever know why you were always so angry and anxious or what made you like that to begin with. I wished everyday that you would find it in yourself to be a man and get the help you needed, but you didnt. If what mom says was true, then me and casey alone should have been enough for you to say "someone, anyone, please help" but we must not have been good enough for you. I dont think i have ever cried more over a family member over the course of 20 years on this planet. Now, Me, Casey, Teddy, and Madden have to somehow find it in ourselves to carry on knowing our father will never see us again and vice versa. As much as I hated what you did and how you acted, you were my father and I will love you until the end of my time. I hope you get the good night's sleep you havn't seen in so many years now. -Your firstborn son